Girls in Space

Somebody in the Star Trek production Office has been in the stock footage library perusing US Air Force films.  Tomorrow is Yesterday begins in contemporary times with aircraft taking off, setting the scene for the Air Base where much of the story takes place.  A UFO has been spotted in the sky and you’ll never guess what it is.  It’s only the chuffing Enterprise!

So how did all this come about?  Well, a black star started to pull the ship towards it, and in an effort to break free, Sulu put the pedal to the metal, broke free and flew back to sixties Earth.  The Enterprise is damaged, the crew look rough and beaten up and the engines can only manage impulse power.  Unfortunate, but on the plus side, what a great chance to buy some Beatles collectables.

↓ Read the rest of this entry…

A landing party prepares to beam down to planet Salsa 3 (a spicy tomato planet) but when a message arrives suggesting they beam down a tactical team, Spock becomes suspicious. Everyone scoffs. Oh Spock, lighten up you old stick-in-the-mud. Spock’s concerns, however, turn out to be justified for when he, Kirk, Bones and three limited life expectancy crewmen materialise, trouble rears its ugly head almost immediately. Within minutes a crewman is killed, the Enterprise is attacked and the landing party can’t beam up. Shoulda listened to the Spockmeister!

On the Enterprise, things have gotten bad: they’ve had to raise their ’screens’. Must be expecting a Mosquito attack. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

While the crew discuss mirages, a foxy space girl hands out drinks. Let’s hope the Enterprise control panels are spillproof. Whilst sipping space-juice, Kirk is told that the ship is passing an uncharted planet. Possibly remembering the trouble he’d got into investigating the space-sneeze last episode, Kirk decides not to examine the planet. Absolutely not. No way. Not going to do it. Sulu and Kirk promptly vanish from the bridge.

Spock calls out to go to Emergency Reverse Power, destroying the credibility of the song Star Trekkin’ by the Firm. A message appears on the view screen saying “Greetings and Felicitations” in a ye olde font. Curious. Bones and a couple of his pals beam down to the planet only to discover the atmosphere is breathable and that they cannot communicate with the ship. Perhaps it’s time to change your cell phone provider, Bones?

↓ Read the rest of this entry…

The Enterprise is delivering vital medical supplies to some or other space colony.  It is such an important mission, Commissioner Ferris has been assigned to oversee the delivery and complain about stuff to Kirk.

Things are going swimmingly until they pass by a big green splotch in space, as if a giant has sneezed into a starfield.  Kirk can’t resist sending some of his crew in for a better look, much to the annoyance of the Commissioner.  However, they have five days to get the supplies to the colony, and the journey should only take three.  Plenty of time for space-sneeze investigation.

↓ Read the rest of this entry…

Kirk has a sore back so one of the crew members, space girl Tonia Barrows, gives him a back rub.  It’s great being Captain!  In fact, it is such a good back rub, Kirk decides that the entire crew need a break, so he parks the Enterprise outside the nearest planet and beams down Bones and Sulu to establish whether it’s safe for the crew to chill out down there.

When Bones makes a passing reference to Alice in Wonderland, moments later the White Rabbit character from the book, complete with waistcoat and pocketwatch, runs by.  Amazingly, Bones doesn’t immediately start chanting “Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion” to test out whether he made it happen.  So when Bones tells Kirk about the rabbit, Kirk thinks it’s a joke.  Who can blame him?

↓ Read the rest of this entry…