Girls in Space

On board the Enterprise, a vessel has been spotted drifting in space and giving out old morse code signals.  It’s one of those old starships from the 1990s.  Don’t laugh, this is serious stuff.

The Enterprise crew detect heartbeats on the ancient ship, the USS Botany Bay.  Spock reminds everyone that in the mid 1990’s the last world war took place between genetically enhanced supermen and everyone else.  I remember it more as the era of the sitcom ‘Friends’ and the Spice Girls, but then my memory isn’t what it used to be. Kirk orders McGivers, spacegirl historian, to join the away team. Why does the Enterprise need a historian and where was she during Yesterday is Tomorrow when they needed her? ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

In an old fashioned town, Sulu and crewman O’Neil run, stopping only to call the Enterprise, desperately requesting an emergency beam-out.  Impatiently, O’Neill doesn’t wait around and keeps running.  Sulu, on the other hand, decides to hold his position.  It’s the wrong choice.  Hooded men appear and zap him with a uh, didgeridoo(?) moments before he dematerialises.  In the transporter room, he reappears but something is amiss.  Poor old Sulu is talking like madman and gazing into space as if admiring some sort of invisible ostrich.

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I graduated, got married and bought a house all within a matter of months.  As a consequence I was broke, and this was long before anyone had heard of the credit crunch.  However, instead of feeling sorry for my empty pockets, I decided to do something about it (and have some fun at the same time).  I, basically, embarked on a campaign to bag as many freebies as I could from companies in Britain and overseas.

So I started writing emails to Customer Services departments.  I told one company that my house was invaded by penguins who had pecked apart my favourite shirt, so if they had a spare promotional one kicking about, could I have it?  Other companies were told of weird experiments to clone myself or alien invasions I had thwarted.  It was all good fun.

To my immense joy, the emails were received with a very positive reaction and, much to my surprise, I started receiving tee shirts, vouchers, hats, toys, and all sorts of goodies.  Over the next few years I would periodically write batches of letters and wait for the postman to bring me free loot!  When I would read the emails to my wife Tiffany or my friends, they often said that I should submit them to a publisher on the off-chance that they could do something with them.  I didn’t know if anyone would really be interested in a book of weird comedy letters, but eventually I agreed and sent out a sample chapter to a handful of publishers.

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After an Ion Storm threatens the Enterprise, Kirk sends Commander Ben Finney outside with an umbrella. However, with the ship safe, time then runs out to get Finney back and Kirk is left with no choice but to sacrifice his crewman in order to save the rest of the ship. When discussing his actions, he states that he went to yellow alert, then red alert and, only then, jettisoned the pod that resulted in the death of Finney.

Later, the Enterprise calls in at Star Base 11 for one of their exquisite cheese and wine parties. However, when Commodore Stone reviews the computer log he discovers that the pod was jettisoned while still at yellow alert, suggesting that Finney wasn’t given fair warning that he was about to be vaporised. Oh Kirk, you’re in trouble now.  I feel a Court Marshall coming on.

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A bonus extra today.  In celebration of its seventh anniversary, I made a guest strip for the webcomic: Station V3.  Congrats on seven great years, Tom!

Follow the daily fun (and read my guest strip) over at the Station V3 website.