While the crew discuss mirages, a foxy space girl hands out drinks. Let’s hope the Enterprise control panels are spillproof. Whilst sipping space-juice, Kirk is told that the ship is passing an uncharted planet. Possibly remembering the trouble he’d got into investigating the space-sneeze last episode, Kirk decides not to examine the planet. Absolutely not. No way. Not going to do it. Sulu and Kirk promptly vanish from the bridge.
Spock calls out to go to Emergency Reverse Power, destroying the credibility of the song Star Trekkin’ by the Firm. A message appears on the view screen saying “Greetings and Felicitations” in a ye olde font. Curious. Bones and a couple of his pals beam down to the planet only to discover the atmosphere is breathable and that they cannot communicate with the ship. Perhaps it’s time to change your cell phone provider, Bones?
As they explore, they find an old castle and enter without knocking. It’s full of antique furniture, artwork and hey! Look who it is! It’s Nancy the salt monster from The Man Trap, stuffed and mounted. With all that salt in her, she’ll be preserved for a long time to come. Amongst the artifacts stand Kirk and Sulu, frozen.
Before Bones and friends have time to arrange them into hilarious poses, a man at the piano waves his hand and unfreezes them. Dressed like a big jessie and with an accent that could best be described as variable, he introduces himself as Trelane, the Squire. It doesn’t take long before he starts throwing his weight around by magically taking guns off crewmen and temporarily transporting Kirk to an unbreathable atmosphere, all smoky and smelling of unripe herring feet.
But ol’ Trelane doesn’t count on Spock suddenly beaming up the crew members and, basically, legging it out of there. Of course it would be a very short episode if that was the end of it, and Trelane soon appears on the bridge, making lewd comments about the ladies and then whisking the bridge crew off to his castle using those handy magical powers of his.
Trelane takes a shine to the two space girls he brought down to the planet, Uhura and Theresa Ross (the drinks dispenser). He makes Uhura play the piano while he dances with Theresa. He may not be the best villain ever, but he certainly knows how to have fun. He even conjures up a nice dress for her. A wasted bikini opportunity if ever there was one.
The crew soon realise that the food has no taste, the fire has no heat and everything seems a little fake. Like an Orlando theme park. Trelane is merely creating a mirage of sorts, powered by some sort of machine. Somehow, Kirk and Spock figure out that it is behind the mirror, and after challenging Trelane to a duel, Kirk uses his bullet to shoot the mirror. Everything goes wonky.
The crew beam back to the ship and attempt, for the second time, to leg it. This time Trelane confuses them by making it appear as if they are on a collision course.
Trelane takes Kirk away to a courtroom, finds him guilty of, I dunno, biscuit theft or something and sentences him to hang. Kirk, persuades him that a hunt would be more entertaining, but he would only willingly participate if the ship was freed. The hunt begins and Kirk is quickly caught. He tries to fight but Trelane’s powers give him an edge Kirk can’t compete with.
Just as things look grim, a green swirly thing appears and scolds Trelane (as if he were a spoilt child). Trelane is taken away and a bemused Kirk is returned to the Enterprise, with an apology. And, as a viewer, I feel incredibly let down. Not only is it an utterly unsatisfactory ending (with a resolution coming from a brand new plot element, and the crew’s struggle playing no part in their release), but worse, it is the exact same ending as Charlie X. Swirly green entity takes spoilt child with magical abilities away. They didn’t even change the colour of the entity.
Overall, it’s a very unlikely episode with an irritating villain and disappointing ending. The viewer is left with a feeling that the crew’s efforts were, ultimately, futile, despite the heroic efforts of the Captain. The theme of mirages and illusions was handled infinitely better in the Menagerie, the concept of deception examined better in Balance of Terror and the omnipotent antagonist better realised in Charlie X. Nice space girls though.
Cast:
William Shatner as James T. Kirk
Leonard Nimoy as Spock
DeForest Kelley as Leonard H. McCoy
James Doohan as Montgomery Scott
Nichelle Nichols as Uhura
George Takei as Hikaru Sulu
Guest Cast:
William Campbell as Trelane
Michael Barrier as Lt. DeSalle
Venita Wolf as Yeoman Teresa Ross
Barbara Babcock as Trelane’s Mother’s Voice
James Doohan as Trelane’s Father’s Voice
Creative Staff:
Director: Don McDougall
Written By: Paul Schneider
